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What Happens to Children when they die?
 Diana's
son Mark just loved motorbikes. He also loved life, family,
people and owned a pet chinchilla dog and two other dogs.
But he really loved motorbikes and would spend hours tinkering
and fine tuning his pride and joy.
"I'll never forget that night in August 1994" continues
Diana "Mark had been helping me decorate before going
out to play pool. It was an exciting time as the next day
Mark was to sign the agreement for the mortgage on a flat
he was to purchase and share with his friend David. Every
mother is a little sad to when their children finally leave
home. He'd be in his flat by the weekend."
"As he left, he smiled and said: "Bye, Mum."
Then he came back into the lounge, kissed me and said: 'I
won't say goodbye, I'll see you later.'"
Later that evening the police came to the door bearing terrible
news. Twenty four year old Mark had been in collision with
a car. The accident had killed him instantly. "'Not our
wonderful Mark,' I sobbed uncontrollably, as my husband Peter
tried to console me.
"I thought the grief would tear me apart but I kept
going in those first few days by organising the funeral. I
dressed him myself, putting on his favourite jeans, shirt
and blazer. At his side, I put notes that friends and family
had written to him, saying their goodbyes. Finally when it
was time to leave, I placed a single red rose in his hands,
kissed him tenderly and whispered: 'Goodnight, my darling.'
"They say time is a great healer, but as the months
passed I couldn't get the image of Mark in his coffin out
of my mind.
"Whenever I talked of Mark's accident and told people
that he was on a motorcycle at the time, they seem to think
that it was his fault almost in the belief that all motorcyclists
are 'accidents waiting to happen'. And matters were made worse
because of the post-mortem and by not knowing when the inquest
was to be held and worrying about it's outcome. My GP prescribed
me some anti depressive tablets and I received some professional
counselling but that terrible aching pain just wouldn't go
away. One of my biggest fears was that Mark's spirit was trapped
in some limbo state and that he was unhappy.
"I'd spend hours in his room. 'I'm keeping it exactly
as he left it,' I sobbed to Peter.
"Wracked with grief, I'd gaze at his pictures on the
wall. Some showed him in his biking leathers and crash helmet
at Goodwood racetrack in Sussex, where he loved to compete.
"He'd always made such a success of everything. As well
as his job as a salesman, he loved go-karting and his trophies
took pride of place on his shelves.
"As I looked at them, my gaze would always wander to
that special container alongside them- the one holding Mark's
ashes. We'd never discussed death with him, so we had no idea
where he'd want his final resting place to be.
"Everything else in my life had lost meaning. My marriage
had begun to suffer and I'd contemplated suicide. Then, in
May 1996, a concerned friend suggested I should visit a clairvoyant
she'd been recommended. 'She's supposed to be excellent' she
said"
Diana telephoned Jane.
"My fingers trembled as I picked up the receiver. But
before I could utter a word, a woman's voice said: "You're
ringing about your son Mark. He wants to talk to you.'
"My head began to spin. How did she know his name? I
was stunned.
"' He's standing beside me holding a red rose in his
hand' continued Jane "the one you put in the coffin.
When you come to see me, I'll tell you what he wants to say.'
"So, on 19 April 1996, 20 months after Mark's accident,
I found myself going to see a perfect stranger about my son.
"Jane started talking about mark the moment I sat down
in her living-room. 'He's here in the room with us now, Diana,'
she said. 'He's tall and good-looking. He's wearing jeans,
a shirt and a blazer. He says the notes you put next to him
in his coffin are still in his pocket.'
A strange feeling swept over me. I must have looked dazed.
She couldn't possibly have known the things she told me. I
looked around expecting to see Mark
"Jane smiled. 'Only I can see him,' she explained gently.
I imagined him standing close, his big beautiful brown eyes
sparkling.
"Jane also gave me other amazing facts about Mark that
completely convinced me that he was not only with us but happy.
He said how the accident was not his fault, how I still kept
his Arai racing helmet and he talked of my feelings when I
first saw his body. He joked about how after his death I'd
had a photo of him enlarged 'The bigger the better, I deserve
it' were his words. He spoke of how his friend Lee was still
visiting car boot sales and extended his thoughts for his
motorcycle friends, especially David. He even said how I'd
tried on his clothes- a fact that not even my husband knew-
and how I had recently bought a large toy dog and laid it
across his bed! |
"With tears streaming down my face I listened as she
continued: 'Mark's worried about you. He says he wants you
to get over his death. He's happy now and wants you to get
on with your life. He says you should stop keeping his room
as a shrine and that you must not hang on to his things any
longer. He wants you to give them away. He's saying it's time
to let go. One other thing' Jane went on. 'Mark says it's
time to get rid of his ashes. He'd liked them to be scattered
at Goodwood.'
"I sat stunned. There was no doubt in my mind that the
words were coming from Mark. 'But how can this be?' I stammered.
" 'He says to tell you it's like in the film Ghost,'
she replied. 'He can see and hear everything that's going
on.'
"Then she added: 'He's being called back to the spirit
world now, Diana. He says he won't say goodbye, just that
he'll see you later.'
"When I returned home, I listened to the tape I'd made
of Jane speaking. For the first time since Mark's death I
felt a spark of hope.
"The following week, we went to Goodwood, as Mark had
requested. 'Take care, my love, ' I whispered as I sprinkled
his ashes next to the starting line on the evening of Thursday
2nd May 1996.
"Although it was difficult letting him go, as we drove
back to our home in Southampton I felt as if a huge weight
had lifted. 'This is a new beginning,' I thought to myself.
'It's what Mark wants.'
"Over the following months, I began to sort through
his belongings. It was difficult to part with them as I felt
they were my last link with my son.
"But I've done it- the only thing I've kept is a tiny
model of a motorbike Mark made just before he died. I am now
no longer have to take medication for my depression and don't
have to visit a counsellor. I know that without the help I
have received from Mark and the Spirit World through Jane
I certainly would have never recovered. Even worse I would
probably have committed the ultimate sin and taken my own
life!
"I owe Jane so much because she changed my life. I am
now at peace with myself. I still see her sometimes and she
always lets me know how Mark's getting on.
"I still go to his room whenever I want to be with him.
Knowing Mark's still with me is such a great comfort and,
one day, I truly believe we'll meet up again."
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What Happens to Children when they die?
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