“Never, never is it possible to reach someone if you become angry or bitter, only love and gentleness can do it. Maybe not this time but maybe the next or the hundredth time.” -Cesar Chavez, Social activist (1927-1993)
Article by Craig Hamilton-Parker.
Love and the Evolving Soul
British Spiritualism has seven principles, or tenants, that summarize the beliefs of mediums–one states that there is a “continual progress of the human soul.” In other words, the soul is not in a static state but is continually evolving. One of the main reasons we need to protect the soul is to allow this spiritual evolution to continue. It is our birthright to have the freedom of spiritual and personal growth. Yet, during the course of our life, we encounter many people who may inhibit this progress. We meet these people at school or at work, and sometimes they may be a partner or a member of our family.
In order to protect yourself from the negativity of others, it is important to observe people’s behavior and, if necessary, use persuasion to influence them. If you act from a standpoint that it is ethically right, you will feel less troubled about influencing them for the benefit of both of you. Of course, we don’t want to encourage you to be a constant manipulator, but there are times when a situation proving uncomfortable for either of you can be influenced for the better. Using specific techniques to influence another person in this way protects you and simultaneously creates a better rapport. Enhancing our interactions with others creates and maintains good relationships.
Psychics Craig & Jane talk about their relationship
Persuasive techniques can protect you from those who cause awkward problems. Using these techniques require you to have an objective, plan what to do or say, observe, communicate and, lastly, influence. There are many reasons to influence a person. Sometimes one person can cause havoc in a working environment, making everyone’s life feel like hell. It takes teamwork to create harmony, and one person’s bad energies can disrupt everything.
[According to research, you are most likely to marry someone similar to yourself. This is true not only in obvious things–religion, social class, income, IQ, emotions–but some rather strange areas as well. Scientists have found that the length of the middle finger, the circumference of the neck and wrist, the length of the ear lobe, the size of the lung, and the heart rate often “agree” in couples that get along better.]
We tend to feel kinship with people that mirror ourselves. Because of this, it is possible to influence a person by subtly reflecting their gestures. This must be done very carefully, as someone can take offence by the mimicry. Yet, a person in an excited state of mind, may appreciate you more if you reflect this urgency of attitude. Similarly, someone who is depressed would be easier to reach by responding in a soft and gentle voice.
Reflecting their behavior can reinforce the bond between you, as long as it is done very subtly. When people are really “in tune” with one another, they often do the same things at the same time and even breath to the same rhythm. You can use this to increase rapport and make a person feel at ease by reflecting their body language. For example, on a romantic date if they are leaning at the bar, you lean too. When they lift their glass, lift yours at the same time or soon afterwards. When they sit down, you sit down. If they fold their hands, fold your hands as well, although with perhaps a slight delay so it is not obvious what you are doing. Try to be subtle. Do not mimic parrot-fashion. For example, if they cross their legs, you cross your ankles.
At the same time, you may also reflect the language of the other person, speaking with similar metaphors or images. People think differently and are orientated to their senses in different ways; for example, you may think in pictures (seeing), words (hearing) or feeling (sensing). You are probably a mixture of all three, but one is likely to dominate. Suppose you respond to someone by saying, “I see where you’re coming from” or “I get the picture” or “Let’s get things in perspective.” You’re more likely someone who thinks visually. If you tend to say “I hear what you’re saying” or “That rings a bell” or “You’re speaking my language,” you most likely think in sound. However, if you respond with “I can handle this’, “I get your drift’, or “I feel the same,” you likely think with your feelings.
Listening for a Better Relationship
By listening carefully when a person speaks, you will soon notice that they tend to use terms relating to a particular sense. Once you have figured that out, you can respond in kind. So, to flatter a person who is a visual thinker, you will say “You’ve really brightened up my day” or “We look good together” or “You make me shine.” Similarly, in talking to a verbal thinker, you will use words like “We’re on the same wavelength” or “You’re really chirpy” or “We seem to click.” With a sensory person, you will find yourself using touch words, “You’re really warm” or “I like your pushiness” or “I’m glad we made contact.”
Certain qualities identify the orientation of a person’s thinking habits. A visual thinker tends to speak quickly, miss details, and often speak in a higher pitched voice. They will use words that refer to seeing, imagination, and colour. They tend to look upwards while thinking, keep an erect posture, and possibly have jerky movements. Verbal thinkers have a smooth language that flows like music. They use words that refer to hearing, speaking, and listening. Their eyes move from side to side when they think. They keep their head square, have flowing gestures, and keep an upright posture. The sensory thinker speaks quietly and slowly with long pauses. They use words that refer to touching, such as: feel, touch, hold, heavy. They look down while thinking, like to make physical contact, and slouch slightly.
MORE: READINGS WITH LOVE PSYCHICS
Developing a Rapport
Putting matching techniques into practice may help you to develop a better rapport with people. They can be used to make bonds that will help you solve the day-to-day problems of human relationships. These simple methods can be used to calm people down, bring them out of a depression, encourage or motivate, and help you get your messages across. Once a good rapport is established, it is easy for people to work together without conflict. Awareness brings understanding and, with it, spontaneous protection against the negativity of loaded relationships.
And, of course, similar techniques can be used at times when a rapport would not be helpful, such as when someone is wasting your time or talking too much. Similarly, if a discussion has reached an impasse or you are being harassed and want to bring the interaction to a conclusion. In such instances, you simply reverse the technique and do the opposite to what the person is doing.
Being aware of how people think, and responding accordingly, can actuate them in positive ways. You can exert quite an influence if the person believes that you think the same way they do. They find themselves responding to you, but do not quite know why. I also believe that it is possible to enlist our intuitive abilities to help a person achieve a more positive attitude. In this case, we do not need to say or do anything. Positive thoughts about the person given from the heart will help them. They will connect to the vibrations we give to the “oneness” or interconnections of all beings. When we are willing to share of ourselves and give from the heart, we set in motion a natural process of inner transformation that functions according to the intuition of each person involved.
Today we are gaining a greater appreciation for the axiom of “oneness,” that all beings may be spiritually interconnected. During the first part of our life on earth, we are merged with our mother while in the womb. It takes some time after birth before we experience ourselves as something separate. For example, learning to tell lies and to keep secrets are two important ways a child discovers that its mind and mother’s can be distinct. Some psychologists believe that many people, without knowing why, seek to return to this state of worry-free existence. Perhaps, they hope to escape the responsibility of individuality, and return to the blissful oneness that they knew before birth. Sometimes we rediscover this innocent state when we fall in love. We become childlike, holding hands, calling each other by silly pet names, and playing as without a care when we are with our sweetheart. Clearly, this is a natural part of the bonding process.
I have observed that many people who come to me for clairvoyant consultations are hoping to find romantic love as a way of escaping from troubled lives. They want someone to come into their lives and make all their decisions for them, giving up all personal responsibility. At clairvoyant consultations, they often look to me to wave a magic wand and make all their troubles evaporate, perfectly willing to exchange personal responsibility for a destiny that will supply everything they need and want. They wish to simply sit back and wait for it to happen. If the first clairvoyant does not give them the answers they need, they move to the next, and the next, until they hear what they want to hear.
Clairvoyant Advice about making a Strong Relationship
A good clairvoyant will advise clients to take responsibility for their lives, for this is the only true way to happiness. A clairvoyant may be able to help them to see more clearly the lay of the land, but the journey into the future is up to them. Insights about the future may provide guidance, alerting the client to potential hazards and developing opportunities, but never be a substitute for free will. Happiness comes from feeling secure and in control of our lives. Similarly, a happy relationship is achieved when both individuals allow themselves to act as one, yet still retain their personal responsibility. They stand like two columns in a temple. If the columns stand too close or far apart, the building will collapse. But if each column is strong, with the right amount of space between them, the structure will endure.
If people sacrifice self-reliance within a relationship, it is not surprising that they expose themselves to many problems and disappointments. Relationships are an opportunity for growth. It is a mistake to use them to escape responsibility. They offer the opportunity for our hidden potential to flower, protected within the garden of family security. A good relationship is a spiritual opportunity for two people to help one another up the ladder of soul evolution. A loving relationship protects and fortifies both partners and is the bedrock of the family. In turn, family values founded on love nourish the hearts of children, who become the hope for a better world. These fortuitous circumstances increase the positive energy within the family, thereby protecting the soul and enabling spiritual progress.
Vibrations Between Couples
There are many reasons that people are attracted to each other. During courtship, many bodily and emotional signals come into play that help to bind the couple together. The result is, of course, a sexual union that, in the best case, results in marriage or lasting partnership. But there are also spiritual forces at work that intensify this coupling. It has been found, in laboratory experiments, that telepathy works best if there is a rapport between everyone working on the experiments. For example, the number of correct guesses of Zener cards increases if the “sender” and “receiver” like each other, and increases dramatically if they love each other. When we are in love, we share thoughts more readily. A loving couple become like one unit, yet they each still maintain their own identity and free will.
Arguments between Spiritual People
Many people feel most vulnerable to psychic attack at night. From a psychological standpoint, this is the time when we are most tired and therefore less able to deal with problems. Is it not often the case that our troubles persist and press upon us most relentlessly when are tired? Isn’t that when we tend to worry the most? This is the time when you are most likely to get into a quarrel with your partner, or lose your patience with an irritable child. At the end of a long hard day, you are less likely to be able to manage your emotions and feelings.
The primary purpose of sleep and dreams may be to quell the emotions, to keep them from overheating. Dreams allow the emotions to express themselves in the language of allegory, metaphor and symbol. They help us to “cool down.” Troubles that may have fired us with emotion in the evening seem not half so bad after a night’s sleep. Tiredness is often the cause of many unintended words and actions.
During the evening, I try not to think about things that worry me. They can all wait until the next day, when I will be far more able to find positive solutions to the issues that require my attention. Also, when we sleep our dreams are in the background of our awareness, helping to solve our problems. Even if we do not recall a dream when we wake up, the solution to a problem often becomes clear in the morning. So, if you have problems, do not try to solve them late at night, or have intense head-to-heads with friends or loved ones. Give yourself time to allow the tiredness and stress to settle. If you have a decision to make or a problem to solve, sleep on it. It is remarkable how often the solution to the problem appears self-evident in the morning.
As night approaches, we may feel emotionally susceptible if we become involved in a quarrel. We are also more likely to say things that we do not mean. This is not the time to “sort things out once and for all.” Domestic violence and taking of own life are all the more likely at night. Nighttime arguments are also more likely to penetrate aura fields, and this can affect you deeply. When negative energy is freely exchanged, both are the worse for it.
Sleeping with your partner without resolving an argument can seriously disrupt inner harmony. Negative energy may unwittingly be exchanged even while sleeping. Try to resolve disputes in the cold light of the morning, and at least have a truce in place before you go to sleep. If this is not possible, as you prepare to sleep, draw your aura in towards the body, reducing your susceptibility to the other person’s vibrations. This can best be achieved by imagining the auric light pulling back to the body. As it does this, you may see the aura forming a strong protective shell around you. I usually imagine that I am sleeping in a full suit of armor. On the one hand, this helps to strengthen and protect my auric field. It is also such an amusing image that it takes the edge off my own anger. Even soul mates have a tiff from time to time, so when it happens, use this technique to safeguard your aural energy, and allow you some “personal space” while your emotions calm down.