| SPIRIT RETURN | SPIRITS RETURN | RETURNING SPIRIT | SUICIDE |

When Jean Gibbons, 48 from Surrey, lost her son last May, her own will to live almost died as well. Here she explains the incredible way she was helped to cope.

A knock on the door after midnight is always scary. But when I opened my door late one night last May to find a grim-faced policeman on the step, I knew that something really bad must have happened.

'Mrs Gibbons?' he said. 'Can I come in?'

'It's about Rob, isn't it? I whispered, suddenly certain. Early that evening I had a call from the housemates of my 21-year-old son who lived in Bristol. He's gone o ut at 5am and hadn't come home. I'd called the police, thinking he might have had an accident. To my surprise they'd taken my worry seriously, and asked for a description.

But nothing could have prepared me for what I was hearing. 'Your son Rob was found today in Bristol,' the policeman told me. 'He threw himself off a multi-storey car park. I'm so sorry...'

Inside, I started to scream. My only child. I was divorced and we'd been so close. I knew he'd been depressed. But suicide? How could he?

I didn't think I could stand the pain. I thought about Rob every moment, every day. I even considered killing myself. I just wanted to be with my son.

One lunchtime five weeks after his death, I was surfing the Net and came across Craig Hamilton-Parker's website. I booked a consultations and the first thing Craig said to me was that he felt a young man called Rob was close. Then he said that he felt a sensation from a great height and cars were nearby. Craig confirmed that Rob had taken his own life. I was amazed. All of this before I had even said a word.

Then Craig told me lots of factual information about Rob. He spoke about our Christmas holiday in China. Our trip to Indonesia. Even the names of the family cats, Brian and Floss. He also mentioned two friend's of Rob's, Si and Nick.

Craig said Rob was wearing a cowboy hat. This was one of the few items of clothes I had of his- we'd bought it while on holiday. Then Craig said: 'We must never use the M word.' I gasped. This was a private joke between me and Rob about whether or not I should get married again.

Through Craig, Rob explained to me that my suicide was pointless. I could not join him that way. I had to be here on earth to help others. Now I'm training to be a medium, so I can talk directly with Rob. My goal is to become a counsellor for Compassionate Friends - a bereavement support group for parents who have lost children.

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