How soon after a death should you consult a medium?

Craig Hamilton-Parker discusses consulting a medium and how to find a good one and how long you should wait before attempting to make a communication with the spirit.

If you have just lost someone it is natural to want to consult a medium and make contact with the deceased person as soon as possible. You may be very bereaved and it is likely that there are many things you wanted to say and farewells you wanted to make. You may feel traumatized and want to make contact immediately. I suggest however that you take your time. Let the process of grief, bereavement, and recovery to take place and allow your emotions to settle before you visit a medium or call a psychic.

Jane and I have had people visit us soon after death and we have had successful communications made but I would still suggest that you do not rush into a consultation straight away. The spirit-person needs a little time to adjust and acclimatize to their new world and – perhaps more importantly – YOU also need to adjust to the new situation.

Even when we know death is coming it is still a huge shock and it is inevitably a painful process. Your own grief can also become a barrier to making a connection as your aura will be agitated and – even though you desperately want to make contact – it can make it hard for the spirit to get through.

They say that grief is the price we pay for love…

Will the Deceased Try and Contact Me?

You may get signs that the spirit person is near to you. Often clocks stop, pictures fall off the wall, butterflies land on the coffin or you may smell a beautiful perfume. But do not get obsessed with signs or the lack of them. The signs often come immediately after death, around important anniversaries as well as when they are ready to make contact through a medium.

Some people interpret every orb on a camera as the spirit or the slightest thing as a sign. Sometimes people panic thinking that these are signs that the spirit is in distress. They are not. When a person dies they are helped by the spirits on the other side.

Are they all right?

One of the biggest worries people have is the fear that their loved one may not have crossed over. There are many very silly and immature programs on the television and on film that suggest that some spirits get stuck and become ghosts trapped on the earth plane. Programs such as Most Haunted the American equivalents seriously misguide people.

If you get to know any real Spiritualist mediums you will soon discover that mediums universally agree that the spirit will not get trapped. Your loved one is safe and goes straight to the next life. I, and other well-known Spiritualists have written at great length on this site to help dispel some of these misconceptions.

When Should You Consult a Medium?

If you can wait until the rawness and shock that comes from death have settled a little then you and the spirit communicator will be able to build a much more stable bridge of love between the two worlds and the medium’s work will be much more accurate and evidential. I would suggest that you wait at least three months before setting out on your spiritual quest. And remember that sometimes it can take a long time to get the absolute proof you need that life continues after death but persevere as you will eventually get the comforting proof you need.

I have written a supportive book to help people like you called What To Do When You Are Dead. In the book, I hope to give you an overview of what many religions and particularly Spiritualists have to say about the glorious world of the next life.

Your First Step: Look into Spiritualism

I would suggest as a first step you look into Spiritualism. You will find that the Sunday services at your local Spiritualist Church can be very comforting. These usually start at about 6.00 pm and will include a few hymns, an uplifting talk by the visiting medium and a demonstration of mediumship. During the demonstration, the medium will come to members of the congregation and give messages from the spirit communicator. Although this is a public event, you will find that because so many others in the room have also suffered as you have that the energy and support you receive will make it easier for the spirit communicator to get through.

Spiritualism is free but just like in a Christian Church, there is a collection – a ‘free will offering’. Most people put a pound or two into the collection. If you want to consult a medium you can ask people here for recommendations. The ‘mediums secretary’ will have a list of local mediums who you can consult.

Example: Craig Demonstrating at Spiritualist Church

Consult a Medium

On this site, we occasionally offer free evenings of mediumship where I and others give demonstrations of mediumship top visitors to the community area.  If you visit on at the demonstration times shown on this page you can watch an uplifting demonstration of mediumship and spirit contact. Afterward, you are welcome to stay and have a chat.

We also have a paid-for service. The psychic phone readers are best at helping people with life problems and romance etc. For mediumship, I suggest you call or visit Jane and myself, though again let me reaffirm: wait until the time feels right and you are over some of the worst of the emotional troubles.

They are Happy

Your loved ones are is a beautiful world of light. They are safe and happy so do not fear for them. There is no hurry and I’m sure if you take your time you will eventually get the comforting proof you need to know that your loved one is safe and well in the next life.

If you would like to talk to spiritualists online we have some helpful people in our free community area.

consult a medium
29 comments… add one
  • Arno May 20, 2019, 3:49 pm

    Hello, I too am worried if a deceased person is well on the other side. But my case is a little different, as I am afraid that other “spirits” (not other deceased people) might have hurt her after she died.
    After she died (but before I got the message of her death), I started to feel funny. I don’t know it, but I think she might have been visiting me. During this time I worked a magic ritual for several days that was supposed to ensure that I am protected against curses, evil entities and so on. On the next day, I felt funny again and it was slightly annoying. Later that day I did the protection ritual and I think I never felt that specific sensation again.
    Now I am really afraid that maybe the deceased person really was present and the spirits called for protection did something to her in order to “protect me”.

    With all your experience as a medium, do you maybe know that spirits are unable to harm the souls of deceased people?

  • Julie Waterman Oct 7, 2018, 1:06 pm

    Hi, My husband died 14 months ago and right from the day after both myself and our adult daughter who lives with her family, have had loads of signs from him! We laughed actually as I have always believed he very firmly didn’t. So I told him when he died he had to show signs and I promise not to say I told you so in return! Is there a reason he is sending so many signs, and complicated ones too e.g. I wasn’t sure he had come with me when I moved and I saw on an elevator screen my old postcode and my new house number! So that was a yes he did. Does this mean he is worried about me? I’m not doing well, I am for a bit then something shoots me back into deep grief and distress.

  • ale Apr 24, 2018, 1:18 pm

    My grandpa passed away 3 years ago, my brother 17 days ago, it may be too soon for my brother but is it okay to contact my grandpa and ask him about my brother?

    • Craig Hamilton-Parker Apr 25, 2018, 1:23 pm

      Yes it’s fine. You could talk to a medium or visit a Spiritualist Church. Hopefully the grandpa will tell you about your brother or may even be able to get a message from your brother. Don’t tell the medium who you want to contact. Let it come through naturally.

  • Melissa Betts Apr 15, 2017, 4:37 am

    Hello there, I am wondering how does dementia effect people in the afterlife? Will they regain themselves or will their memories forever be lost to the people they left behind, and who they once were?

    • Craig Hamilton-Parker Mar 22, 2018, 5:19 pm

      Dementia is of the body not the soul. From many spirit communications and consultations it is clear to me that a person regains all their mental faculties when they enter the afterlife.

  • Spiritual Wellness Nov 29, 2016, 5:27 pm

    My father died 12 years ago. And like any other people, I would like to know if he have crossed. Its good to know hearing from a Spiritualist that souls go straight to next life. And hopefully other people will understand this misconception about crossing on the other side.

  • Fay Clarke Nov 4, 2016, 2:33 pm

    My father passed away five weeks ago. He was my best friend and I am lost without him. I lived for him, he was my world. Now I am shattered and finding each day difficult to face. I went to my first mediumship meeting and the medium said she had an elderly gentleman coming through that has only recently passed to spirit world. She then picked me out of a large audience and asked if my father had recently passed. She said there was some confusion and that was it. My father had dementia. Could that be why he could not get through? I now go every week.

  • Bridget Morrissey Sep 9, 2016, 11:16 pm

    My father and aunt died four years ago on my father’s anniversary which is the 17th September. I am booked in to see a medium on that date anniversary is it okay to do this?

    • Craig Hamilton-Parker Sep 12, 2016, 10:01 am

      Often people book to see a medium on an anniversary or birthday and so on. It can be comforting to get proof on a day that is clearly significant to you.

  • Melinda May 16, 2016, 3:53 am

    My brother just passed. It was very tragic and so sudden and I wasn’t ready. I’m desperate for a sign from him. Does he know how much I miss him? I have no one local to turn to.

    • Craig Hamilton-Parker May 16, 2016, 9:15 am

      As I have suggested to others on this site, use this as a prompt to begin your spiritual search to discover the reality of the next life. Look into Spiritualism and it’s books. You can also chat for free in our community area to meet spiritualists and seekers.

  • laura May 2, 2016, 4:32 pm

    My best friend killed herself when full of drink. I was a spur of the moment thing. I know she didn’t want to die as she has two beautiful children and good family and friends. I know she will be so mad at herself and I feel so frustrated. This happened April 18th is it to soon for a reading? Will she be clingy on to us and be confused?

    • Craig Hamilton-Parker May 3, 2016, 8:44 am

      It may still be a bit soon for you as you need to get over the grief. This may make the communication a little difficult for some mediums – it may depend a lot on the medium’s ability. In a Spiritualist church demonstration the energy is very supportive and this makes the communication a lot easier. Seek out your local Spiritualists and go to a Sunday Service where there will be a demonstration of mediumship towards the end of the proceedings. Jane and I also demonstrate for free withing spiritualism. We do not do that many demonstrations lately but are planning for demonstrations in the future.

  • Victoria Nov 10, 2015, 6:12 pm

    I’m living in Holland and there aren’t any English-speaking spiritualist churches (as far as I can find out). My father passed last week and I’m unsure who to consult.

    • Craig Hamilton-Parker Nov 17, 2015, 2:49 pm

      You can meet mediums and watch free demonstrations in our online community chat rooms. We have a number of regular visitors from Holland and they may be able to help. See here

  • Trina Aug 8, 2015, 10:59 pm

    My son passed away June 27 it was an accident he didn’t want to die. I am worried that he is stuck or confused or is in the dark. and I have an apt. To see a medium on Sept. 29 is that too soon? The medium charges $345 for an hour sitting. I just figured that if it cost that much to see a medium than he has to be good. Please help me.

    • Craig Hamilton-Parker Sep 23, 2015, 11:48 am

      That medium is charging far too much. Visit a Spiritualist Church and you will get it for free or they can point you to a good medium for a private session.

  • Tonia nigrelli Jul 26, 2015, 1:58 pm

    My passed away 3 weeks ago today. Mum was able to recognize us and was able to join in some conversation with us for a few days. Sadly mum needed morphine and once this started she slept most of the time. I would love to know if she knew we stayed by her side the whole time for her final 4 days. I know a medium I want to see but it’s early isn’t it?

    • Craig Hamilton-Parker Sep 23, 2015, 10:56 am

      It is a bit early really but so long as you are aware that it is not easy for the spirit to connect while your grief is running it’s course I get the feeling you would be okay visiting your medium friend. Another good option in the early days after a passing is to go to Spiritualist Church. The readings there are public but the added energy and support from everyone there makes spirit communication much easier.

  • shelley parker May 28, 2015, 6:12 am

    My soul mate passed away, will be 3 days tonight, I’m in agony so many things unanswered questions. He never told me something he wanted to tell me to my face. I have no idea what I’m going to do without him in my life. Would LOVE to hear his words. I dont think I can wait three months xx

    • Craig Hamilton-Parker Jun 4, 2015, 2:29 pm

      I think you’d be best visiting a Spiritualist Church in the first instance. This is a good way to get to know about how mediums work and will give you time to settle. Getting a clear communication from your spirit loved one and getting solid proof takes time.

  • paul hammett Apr 2, 2015, 9:43 pm

    My partner painfully past away in hospital, I tried to do what I could for her. Can she let me know all is okay and did I do right?

    • Craig Hamilton-Parker Apr 8, 2015, 11:16 am

      Your actions were done in a spirit of love so you did the right thing. To get a direct message from her I suggest that, as a first step, you look into Spiritualism as this can give both solace and the proofs you need. We also have some nice spiritualists who will have a chat with you in our free community area if you like.

  • Karen Redman Feb 26, 2015, 11:15 pm

    I’m thinking of going to see a medium. I have recently lost someone very close. This person was very much a believe and we at there request had a spiritualist funeral. And they always said if they could find away to let us know they’re okay they will.

    • Craig Hamilton-Parker Apr 1, 2015, 12:55 pm

      Why visit the church or call the Spiritualists that took the service? They could probably recommend a good local medium for you to consult.

  • catherine Jul 21, 2014, 7:48 pm

    Someone very close to me died suddenly I would love to know that they are OK.

    • pamela purdy Feb 26, 2015, 9:47 pm

      I lost my brother on May 2014and was close to him. He lost is wife in 2012. I really need no know if they are okay.

      • Craig Hamilton-Parker Apr 1, 2015, 1:00 pm

        A year has passed and I would suggest that you are probably now ready to consult someone. As I have suggested in other posts here your first port of call should be Spiritualism. Go to a local Spiritualist service on a Sunday at 6.30 pm. Watch the demonstration of mediumship and ask around about finding a good local mediums who gives private consultations. Or if you feel ready, you could book a phone reading but remember you are looking for a medium for this – not a psychic.

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